Off & Running
a Blog of Life on the Run

November
03,
2013

When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
When was the last time you told God?

Running through the streets of Rome this morning, enjoying the sunshine and the warm November air, one of my favorite love songs came on my iPod Shuffle. From the first chords, I knew just what it was. Normally, I would have pushed 'next' because I don't have anyone to love or who loves me in that romantic sort of way.

But I left it.
           I started whispering the words of it.
     And then stopped my running altogether,
                walked into the park at Bhorgese.
                                                   I started to dance. 
                                      With arms flung wide.

"I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you.
Yes, there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you
No one understands me quite like you do
Through all of the shadowy corners of me.

I never knew just what it was
About this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while I never knew
All of the while, all of the while it was you."

- Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop, Landon Pigg

I've searched for years for my soulmate. I've given my heart, allowed it to be broken, and given it again. I always have hope. I try, again and again. And get hurt. Over and over. But I have hope.

This summer, I was crying to a friend about how much I hurt and that I was going to give up. Everyone had been telling me to guard my heart. It was time to lock it away. No more hurting.

Her response? "Not hoping is not an option.
And you never quit hoping, even with a chance of hurt.  
I know you hurt because of it, my love... but you are resilient. Even if you don't feel like it now.  
It's part of why you're such an inspiration."

I am content. For the first time in my life, I am content with where my life is - work, friends, lack of a significant other. God fills me up with hope and I have no need to worry or suffer. He is the love I've been searching for my whole life. The One who will love me back more than I could ever love Him.

And in time, He will send me someone on earth to love me, but not until I'm ready. Patience has never been my virtue but this contentment has filled me up with a patience I've never known.

--
Thank you, God, for helping me find my peace. I'll see You at the coffee shop.

xoxo, Your Daughter

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