Off & Running
a Blog of Life on the Run

April
19,
2014

I lost my Happy. 
It seems to have taken a sabbatical and it's really affecting my life.
Happy's nemesis, Worry, has been hanging out with me lately.

Reading through the New Testament during Lent with my church, I have been reading about Jesus' life and death from different perspectives through Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I've been feeling particularly convicted about where my life is heading, what I'm doing personally and professionally, and living my life to the fullest while I'm here on earth. I got the part in Matthew where it talked about not worrying. 

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. - Matthew 6:34 MSG

In The Screwtape Letters, CS Lewis gave us the insight about how our little demons can wreck us without letting us realize it. The tiny slights, the little slip-ups, not being good enough, not having enough or giving enough, even worrying about things - these things can take us away from trusting our God who has it all. My little Worry has been pestering me like crazy. He's been poking me, bending my ear, allowing me to think that it's ok, telling me I'm not good enough, that I'm not worth it... when God tells me that I have to let Him have all of my worry. I am supposed to live a life dependent on Him - "He takes care of even the wildflowers", why wouldn't he take care of me?

Today, I asked my friends on Facebook what helps them get back to happy and heard so many different of things:

Other people's happiness, hiking, dancing, happy music, delicious food, singing, sunshine, little kids, animals, smiling, praying, a good book, family dinner, spending time with friends.

When I was a kid, I accepted Jesus into my heart. I became a born-again Christian at 8, was baptized, and knew that Jesus was in charge. When did I forget that He was inside of me? In my heart, in the one thing that causes everything else inside of me to work the way it should? My HEART! 

God is there - in my heart. He is my happy. I can't find that in anyone or anything else. I have to find it within myself. In my God. No man, no thing can give me happiness - I have to look inside and find it. I am nothing without Him, and my happiness resides in Him. The little demon, Worry, has to hit the road. See ya.

"Whatever's in front of me, help me to sing Hallelujah.
Whatever's in front of me, I'll choose to sing Hallelujah."
- Bethany Dillon (VIDEO)

Hallelujah. I WILL jump for joy.
Hallelujah. My new mantra.
No matter what.
I've got God on my side.
How in the WORLD can I falter?

Hallelujah!

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