Off & Running
a Blog of Life on the Run

February
06,
2013

back in time: 11/23/2012
After Thanksgiving, I wrote about being content. Something drove me to get it out of my system so I could start sitting with it through the rest of this trip. I had an incredible time catching up with family (Uncle & family, Grandma, and Auntie) for the holiday and then headed off to Boulder to find a quiet place to write and meet up with one of my best friends.

The whole reason the Live Your Brand Tour became even a thought in my head was because Amber told me she was getting married and it had been too long since we had been together. I knew I needed to visit, decided I needed to drive, and the rest is history. Spending a few quiet days hiking, relaxing, and chatting with Amber and her mom, Janis, I got a chance to catch up on Sisarina work, some writing, and getting in the groove of their lives. There are few friends you can be distanced from who feel like no time has passed when you're back together. Amber is this friend and her mom has been such a great mother, even to me.

In between Amber's schoolwork and my writing, I got the chance to ask these two wonderful women for some of the answers I was looking for. It was fun having both of their views since they're very different people.

#1 How to ask for help (& accept it):

Janis: A lot of people have a hard time asking for help. You have to learn to do it by doing it.

Amber: Sometimes you have to learn because you have no other choice. Hurricanes cause you to have to, but so does moving somewhere when you have no money. I still don't like asking for help.

Janis: It's a gift to others to ask for help because you give them the opportunity to give. You also have to respect the fact that someone can say no.

Amber: I have a fear of asking for help because I feel like I'm imposing but I also have a hard time saying no to others when they ask. No one lives in an isolated bubble, you have to depend on others.

Janis: We all help each other. No one gets anywhere alone.

Amber: Being in a relationship has caused me to ask for help. I've learned to recognize that it's ok to depend on him for things.

Janis: He likes to do those things, Amber. But we also have to learn to say "thank you."

#7 How does one learn to pray:

Janis: Start by saying "thank you." I was worried my two kids would never find mates. I decided to start being thankful for the relationships they would be in before they found anyone. Thinking beforehand that it's already happened was the impetus of it happening. First with my son who recently got married and then with Amber. The divine alignment was amazing.

Amber: When I was a kid, I said a prayer for the devil because I felt bad for him. I used to do formal prayers but now I focus on meditation and being quiet.

That goes easily into the next question.
#2 How can one learn to be quiet:

Amber: Sit in a posture that is not comfortable. Pay attention to the thoughts you have so you can see where your mind is.

Janis: Follow your breath and when a thought pops up, say "be still". Or you can just ask yourself "I wonder what my next thought will be" which causes you to not have a thought for awhile.

Amber: Meditating is about just being. Being uncomfortable is just being.

Janis: Have the affirmation, like "All is in perfect timing." If you're late, you realize you were just on time. "I declare perfect timing." It's a matter of being able to relax. We avoid relaxing because we are too busy or anxious.

Amber: Adjust your fears.

Janis: It's how I gave up smoking. I was getting divorced and fearful of money. I was at the library and picked up a CD "Inner Warrior." It said to imagine yourself sitting up straight with your head up and looking straight ahead with your shoulders straight and having no fear. I completely forgot to smoke ever again.

--

Such a refreshing conversation. Remembering to say thank you for what I will have in the future, being still, and squaring my shoulders when it's hard to kick a habit. Every step of the Melanie on the Run journey leads me to learn something new. I had no idea how much I didn't know. More to come...

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