Off & Running
a Blog of Life on the Run

Hi. My name is Melanie and I feel like a failure on a daily basis.
I fail at finishing my to do list. I fail at playing with my dogs enough. I fail at completing a workout. I fail at eating healthy. I fail at responding to a text message from a friend. I fail at keeping my New Years Resolutions. I fail at dating. I fail at cleaning. I fail at remembering to pee. I fail at following my notification to turn off my phone at 9pm. I fail at dressing myself for work. I fail at keeping track of my calendar. I fail at planning ahead. I fail at remember all of the details of a client phone call. I fail at praying. I fail at meditating. I fail at blogging enough. I fail at being aware of others’ feelings. I fail at speaking the right words. I fail at keeping my Sundays sacred. I fail at being a human. I fail. I’m a big huge failure. 
How often do you feel like a failure? Every hour? Every day? Every week? Every month? Every year? Failure is human. We fail more often than we succeed. But really, it’s all about perspective. 
Hi. My name is Melanie and I feel like a success on a daily basis.
I succeed at taking care of my clients. I succeed at learning new things. I succeed at smiling. I succeed at being an inspiration. I succeed at crossing things off my to do list. I succeed at keeping track of my friends. I succeed at being healthy in my own way. I succeed at motivating others. I succeed at being an entrepreneur. I succeed at being a kick-ass dog mom. I succeed at loving others.  I succeed at loving myself. I succeed at depending on others for their expertise. I succeed at life. I succeed at being a human. I’m a big huge success. 
Failure creates opportunity for growth. Success keeps us striving for more. Again, it’s all about perspective.
“I dare you to trust that I love you.
As you are. Not as you should be.” - God
This quote came from Ragamuffin - a movie on the life of Rich Mullins - one of the most successful Christian songwriters. He was a huge success and when he died, he had no idea how much of a success he was. He has touched an incredible number of lives, but he felt like he was never good enough. He felt like a failure. Because he felt like he should be something different from what he was.
My whole life I’ve struggled to figure out what success looks like. In my business, with my faith, in dating, with my family, with my friends, everything. I have gone back and forth with what I want to do and who I want to be when I grow up so many times I can’t count. It’s becoming clearer these days but I’m still constantly praying for a sign or a word to point me in the right direction. 
I know for sure that my job in life is to be an inspiration. If I inspire even one person, I am a success. If one person’s life changes because they meet me, success. But I need to be reminded of this on a daily basis. God loves me for who I am right now - not the success I will someday be. The success I am at this very moment in my life. I keep stretching and growing and learning and trying to be a success when success is staring me in the face right now.
“I dare you to trust that I love you. As you are. Not as you should be.” - God
Oof. God loves me. Right now. As I am. NOT as I should be. How darn powerful is that. It brings tears to my eyes every time I think of it. I am a success JUST because He loves me. If I never accomplish one more thing, I will be a success. 
Talk about perspective.
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  Hi. My name is Melanie and I feel like a failure on a daily basis.